Layla Grace starts daycare next Friday....Seriously, where has the time gone. With Noah the year was SO long; yet Layla's first year has been so fast, I could have blinked and missed it! Part of that is probably because I returned to work when she was 8.5 months old and part of it is likely because having two kids makes you so busy that your head spins.
Yesterday I was watching Layla: she was holding onto the couch, tormenting her brother, when she just let go....she just tried to see if she could stand on her own without the support. She realized she couldn't quite make it yet and so she did a controlled landing to bring her back to her comfort zone. This is Layla in a nutshell: willing to dive headfirst into a new challenge, not caring about the danger aspect, but pulling back when it takes her a bit too far out of her comfort zone. I sincerely hope this is how Layla lives her life forever. Granted, the "diving headfirst into danger" aspect seems frightening - but what I truly hope for her is that she is not afraid to try new things and fail, but still be willing to pick herself up and try again another time.
Layla arrived into this world mad as hell, kicking, screaming and crying. When I tried to shush her to hear what the nurses and doctors were saying, she got mad and cried louder. This is a personality trait I can relate to, as Layla is my exact double in so many ways. She hates to be ignored, she wants to be the only one heard (or, at the very least, the loudest) and she hates when she doesn't get what she wants the moment she wants it. Luckily, I am able to see the silver lining in this personality trait too: as her bullheaded tenacity may get her far in life if she chooses to use it to her advantage. Who doesn't need to be stubborn and fierce at times in their career? Or when standing up for what they truly believe is right?
At first I described Layla as a fussy baby, but looking back I realize that an incorrect assessment. She isn't, nor ever has she ever been, miserable or cranky (illness and teething episodes aside). She merely wanted things done a certain way. Layla really found her groove right before I went back to work: sleeping better, eating better, playing better. It coincided with her increased mobility - which gave her the independence she craved.
Independent: It is the most perfect word to describe her. She isn't a cuddler, she hates to depend on me for food, she hates that she isn't mobile enough to take down her brother to get to his dump truck and she doesn't want our help getting her to sleep. She protests loudly at being strapped into a carseat or being forced into a snowsuit, as if to protest the act of doing something against her will. Similarly, diaper changes are a true test of patience, as you hold her ankles to lift up her bum and she spins around to escape. I always imagine that what she hates the most is being told to do something on our timeline, under our demands to best suit our needs. Luckily, I know that most toddlers hate this as well, so I know she will require a lot of independence as she gets older.
Looking back to this past year I have mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am so very sad that it has gone so fast because she is my baby and I really do feel like it went by in a blink. However, it means we are onto fun stages - I feel kids just get more fun as they age - and having watched Noah grow, I know that we are in for some fun times. I also know that daycare is going to age her and make her grow at warp speed so I expect my baby to be a baby no more in a few short months of daycare.
Yet, despite my sadness, I am so blessed and happy to have my little monster in my life. I call her all sorts of various nicknames: monster, tazmanian devil, trouble #1, etc., but I truly couldn't be more proud of the little girl. She came into our lives as a bit of a surprise but she is such an amazing baby girl. Sometimes, her "spirit" can tire you out and make you frustrated; but overall I really do appreciate that our baby has that personality. She is fun, carefree and yes, a little dangerous. She is going to be a nightmare of a teenager to raise, but I look forward to watching her try new things and one day learn to let go and stand on her own two feet...
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