Having breastfed two children, I am acutely aware how different children can be. My two children are like night and day in almost every respect. Breastfeeding certainly has been no different in this respect.
Noah loved to nurse - he would spend all day at the breast as a baby. As he got older and went to school at a year of age, he still enjoyed nursing. We naturally cut out the day sessions, as he was at daycare - but he kept the morning, night and middle of the night feeds. In fact, until he was 14 months, he was up every two hours to nurse. Did he need to nurse every 2 hours at 14 months and 30 pounds? No way - but we did it because it was our cuddle time.
When Noah fed, he took his time - he enjoyed the cuddles and there were so many nights where he would nurse and sleep for three hours, while I sat in the lazyboy...not realizing how much time had passed because I was asleep too! We used to co-nap as well, and I would go down for quite a few hours just because he loved to nurse and sleep at the same time. If I wanted him to nap well, I had to go down for a nap too.
He naturally weaned himself when I was a few months pregnant with Layla - the taste must have changed because it was an abrupt end at 16 months. I was not ready for it to be over and mourned the end of that period of our lives. Especially since he was not an overly cuddly child, so I lost the only time he would let me hold him.
Layla....oh my beautiful Layla...breastfeeding her is like trying to hog-tie a rabid tazmanian devil and force feed it. She treats breastfeeding like it is the only way to get her nutrients and that is it. She has no desire to cuddle or spend hours at the breast. Since the day she was born, you couldn't force her onto the breast if she was upset or needed to nap. If she was not hungry at that moment, she would have none of it. Once she got teeth, she got even more brutal by ending sessions with a hard bite! She squirms, twists and pulls off. She slaps me in the face, fish-hooks me in the mouth, claws at my eyes and uses her nails on my flesh. She does not wake at night for mommy cuddles - she is another one who isn't terribly cuddly. In fact, if you happen to catch her at a tender moment and she agrees to hug you - once she realizes what is happening, she puts her hand on your face and shoves you away.
However, due to my obsession with breastfeeding, I have kept it up with Layla. I even pump at work daily so she can get a little breastmilk during the day while I am at work. She nurses only once a day now - at bedtime. I actually am shocked she still nurses. I am certain the end is going to come sooner than it did for Noah.
I remember reading a lot about breastfeeding a toddler, when Noah got over a year of age. I couldn't figure out why anyone would need to adjust how they fed their toddler just because they were older. Noah never moved when he fed! Sure, he got distracted, but I was able to work through it.
Now that I have Layla approaching the year mark, I can fully appreciate the complexities to nursing a toddler. Over the last few weeks Layla has developed a very strange nursing habit, that makes breastfeeding nearly impossible. She doesn't want to be held in the typical cradle hold (how dare I treat her like a baby?!?!). She now nurses by laying on my stomach, facing me - but she pushes down until she is dangling between my legs (I think she is trying to stand between my legs while she nurses). It is so strange to feed her like this - I almost have to put my legs straight out and let her lay on them - but she wants to dangle. So I nurse her by holding onto her under her arms and letting her hang.
Yet, despite the difficulties, I can't bring myself to be the one to end the relationship. I won't. Similar to Noah, I will let her dictate when she is done, no matter how old she is. So now I have to revisit those chapters and websites I read about nursing a toddler and work through this - which is really just another hurdle in the world of breastfeeding. It is never smooth sailing and problem free - but it is always a great time to cuddle...even if they fight it, they all eventually settle down once the milk starts flowing!
I am certainly learning a lot about how unique each child is when they breastfeed. It is giving me a greater appreciation of the complexities with breastfeeding - something I hope will come in handy as I embark on my lactation education.
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