The end of breastfeeding

All good things have to come to an end, I suppose. As my La Leche League book tells me, "Everybody weans". I have loved breastfeeding from the moment I figured it out with Noah. Before babies I knew that I wanted it to work out for me and through many tough moments, both my children nursed until approximately the same age. We made it through Noah's surgery, tongue ties, too much milk, fast flow, lazy nursing, fast nursing, returning to work and pumping...you name it. 


On September 1, 2009 Noah weaned abruptly. He was 16 months old I made a post on a parenting forum, entitled "Crushed": 
UGH I just went to put my son to sleep and he refused to nurse. He just wanted me to put him into his crib. As soon as I did he fell asleep. He has never, ever refused his bedtime nursing session! 
I kept offering and he kept biting me. I thought he just didn't have a good latch so I kept trying. He bit me hard and I said "NO" out of pain and his face crumpled and he sobbed. UGH that is just a lovely nursing memory isn't it?

I hope this isn't in response to the pregnancy. I can't imagine he gets much b/c he only nurses the one time and never for long before he is asleep. I am terrified to try again b/c all I can think is that our last nursing session will have been yesterday where I just spent my whole time reading perezhilton. Lovely....

I left his room and sobbed. I am fairly certain my husband thinks I am crazy!


I was, without a doubt - devastated. I got over it though because I was pregnant with Layla at the time (so I would be breastfeeding again in only 7 more months!)


I have one photo of me nursing Noah, laying in bed together when he was a toddler. 


I have suspected Layla was close to weaning for a while. She hasn't relied on it for a long time but I push it because I didn't want to stop. Today, on July 18th, 2011 I think I have to throw in the towel. Layla is now 15 months old, exactly. It has been three days in a row where she has refused. Personally, I think it is due to her teething, as she has refused to eat at school today too. However, since this is day three perhaps I should take this window of opportunity and wean her. I share similar thoughts to my last weaning session - as I didn't really "appreciate" the last time I nursed. In fact, the last few times were comical. She would lay down, nurse for a bit, then sit up and pop between both sides while trying to nurse and rest her cheek on my chest. Then she would giggle and pop back on. I have known for a few months now that she was close to being done and I would watch her nurse and think, "this could be the last time". I tried to cherish it, but I am left with the last few days as a memory - her arching out of my arms trying to get to her crib. Oddly enough, the same way Noah weaned. They are just a month apart in age from when they stopped. Similar to Noah, I have one photo - a self portrait - of our time nursing. She wasn't a cuddly nurser - she was all business with breastfeeding. It isn't a great photo but it is all I have. 


I am not sure if we will have another baby, so this is very sad for me. I am sure most people will think I am crazy but at least I'm not sobbing this time!