We survived

So our first week of switched roles is over. I have to say I was extremely pleased with how it worked out!

First, I really do love being back at work. I am in my familiar work setting and it is so nice to have adult conversation (even if it does largely centre around my kids!). I also love the peace and relative quiet of the commute into work. I get to read a grown-up book and drink coffee - does it get any better?
While I do miss my kids (their photos are everywhere at work and my screen changes to a new photo of them every five minutes...), I really do think I am a better mom for being back at work. I only get from 5:30 until bedtime to spend with them, so maybe 2.5 hours tops - but that time is spent enjoying every second with them. We all laugh more, smile more and play more. It is really fantastic. I think it also makes me a better wife because I feel more refreshed and I miss Keith when I am at work.

Now, to get to how Keith did...

I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. I never doubted he could care for the kids , he has always been a very hands-on father,  it was more that he did it so well. On my first day coming home, the house was very tidy, the kids were all smiles, and they were all clean and happy. I know, first hand, how trying the end of the day can be with the kids...they are tired and we are running out of fun things to do together, it is impossible to find time to shower with both kids at home, and changing them out of PJ's is a hassel - but here they were, clean and in real clothes!

Keith teased me (or maybe he was serious?) that he thought all women shared the secret that mat leave isn't really that hard, but that we pretend it is so the men won't want to take some of it. I keep telling him that while it went well for him, over time things may begin to wear on him. The sleepless nights, the constantly hungry kids, the whining, the pee accidents, the exhaustion, reading the same book for the billionth time...it eventually wears on you. That said, he is much more patient and calm so he is a lot better suited to working in that kind of scenario.

So far though, he is doing great. Friday was a challenging day as he had both kids and Noah seems to be rebelling against the change of caregivers. He is currently peeing right in his pants without even trying to make it to the potty and then telling us (with glee) that he did it. I am fairly certain this is linked to the changes around the leave, so it will fix itself with time I think. I try to prepare him by telling him that I am going to work the next day but I think he thinks I am playing a game because he then tells me that he is going to work too.

I had to have a talk with Keith about my expectations around what he is to do when he is home. I found the house was "too" well cared for - so I think he was burning himself out fast b/c he was trying to do too much. So I told him how low my standards were and hopefully that will make things easier on him.

Layla doesn't really seem bothered at all - she loves taking a bottle, which is making our breast feeding sessions much more difficult. She has always been an impatient nurser so without the instant gratification of the bottle, she is getting more and more frustrated, even though we are using a slow flow nipple on the bottle.The other issue is that I am not able to pump enough for her - I read online that if you normally breast feed, it is normal to get only 1-2 ounces per pumping session. So now, I have to take herbs (18 pills a day) and pump 5x a day to get enough milk for the day (which really isn't that much since she is mostly on solids). It is another hurdle that we have to face though. Overall, Layla seems very happy. She really loves her daddy and her whole face lights up when she sees him so I don't anticipate any issues with her, especially since she is so young.

Keith has a schedule and it is different than how I did things. I found it amusing on the weekend, when I tried to give a snack to the kids, Keith told me that it wasn't snack time. It doesn't bother me, like I thought it would, adhering to a new schedule. I am happy to keep the schedule up for the kids sake, since I know they will thrive best when I do so.

There were times when I was on leave, that Layla would wake up too early in the morning and it would throw our whole schedule for naps off. It really used to stress me out so I would complain about it a lot. This morning, Keith had to drag himself out of bed earlier than normal because Layla was up so early, after a very rough night. Keith had said, 'This is going to throw our schedule all off!". At first I thought he was teasing me and using my own lines against me in a joke, but he was serious. So it is amusing to see how the issues that may seem so simple to the working parent, become the be all and end all to the parent on leave.

Keith's week is off to a bit of a rough start this week because of the bad night Layla had but she had a long morning nap, so I think he is going to get it turned around in no time! He is a great stay-at-home dad.