When this whole cardiac journey is over, I will have been off for four months. Those who know me well, know I don't know how to relax. I can't sit through a movie. I must at all times have some project going on in the house to do when the kids are asleep and sitting with the kids at the park is a painful act of patience. So being off for four months is sheer torture to me. I like working and miss my job right now.
To be fair, the first month was spent in hospital, the second month was filled with narcotic hazes and memory loss, now I am into month three and I'm getting bored. I don't have the energy yet to do much walking and I'm on drugs that make me susceptible to harsh burns if I'm outdoors. So I spend 90% of my time indoors and it is rough.
How do I spend my time?
I have weekly:
-blood work
-stroke rehab
-cardiac rehab (in addition to working out 3x/week with their program at home)
-social work
-massage therapy (for the chest contractions post-op and the subsequent knots in my back)
And every six weeks I spend half a day at:
-pacemaker clinic
-cardiac clinic
In addition I can do drop in appointments to pacemaker clinic to have adjustments made to my rate. I've been trying to decrease it and make it less sensitive to movement.
So that makes up a large portion of my time.
However, I usually only have one appointment a day so how do I spend the rest of my time? Lately, I have no attention (lets be honest, it has never been that great). It may be the stroke or it may be boredom. My social worker suggested I have a bunch of easy activities and rotate through them that I can do indoors.
My list is like looking at an elderly person's list. Seriously, what can a young person do indoors?
-knitting
-cross-stitching (great for stroke rehab)
-puzzles
-sudoku
-zen-doodling
-read (I have no attention span for reading now which makes me sad because I always have my nose in a book)
-publishing my article from my Masters degree
-working on my two children's books
-playing the flute
-watch tv
Thank God I have wonderful friends. A few are on mat leave, some are shift workers, others take a day off and visit me. They make my days way more enjoyable.
I don't have the energy to clean for long periods of time or walking - so sitting around the house is isolating and excruciating. I'm currently getting our money's worth from Netflix (we don't have cable so I am not able to catch up with DOOL). Shopping for clothes is out because I can't quite move my pacemaker arm yet to try on shirts. I have a gift card I'm dying to use for a new wardrobe but maybe in a month I'll be able to endure a long trip to the mall.
So there you have it: I am absolutely dreadful at staying at home. I don't know how to relax, and I currently have elderly hobbies.
I drive Keith nuts when he comes home, insisting he sit and talk to me all night long. To distract me he sits me in front of a puzzle and I spend the rest of the night fighting Jade off the pieces. Not very relaxing...
